Lucky or unlucky.

I caught a lucky break today some random bastard ran straight through me and I was able to hitch a ride on his body. However a few seconds after somebody shot him in the head. So now I'm stuck in an inanimate body. One would think I could just take control of the corpse but it doesn't work like that. The body's functions no longer er function. I can't control it properly. So I'm stuck... again.







(His side)

Trail lost

So The City can still stop me. See as mentioned earlier I can travel on wireless paths. The Entire city has some weird pseudo wireless system that covers the entire place. As such I can go anywhere. Well that weird pseudo path has suddenly disappeared I am not trapped. I can't move. I'm not sure what's happening. I don't even know how this works on a scientific level I just know I seem to be suspended in mid air unable to move. The area I'm in seems to be a hilly area. Random body parts sprout up from the hilly landscape like a really badly dug graveyard. With nothing to do at the moment I guess I may as well end this now. It is likely I will eventually be freed. The wireless aura had to serve some purpose so it is likely it will be turned on again.

Search and find.

In my formless state I've been traveling mostly unimpeded and searching for Portnoy. I'm following a trail but I don't know if it's right. Whatever I'm following forged it's own way through The City without it's consent. Portnoy could have done so once upon a time but his powers are gone unless they were returned somehow. If not Portnoy what am I following?

The answer will come to me eventually.

The Wandering Death

I still have no computer and still have no clue how I'm writing this but I can read it as I'm writing it. Like it's in my head. I know that this is all being transmitted to the blog. I assume this is a mixture of The City and my Thoughtborness. Regardless I've been searching The City. Everywhere I turn is just an endless grey expanse. I feel like I'm in a maze and all around me I hear whispering. I know what they're saying. I acknowledge the truths and deny the lies. I will not repeat what was said. The road continues forever shifting back on itself. One walks forever. A death march of an immortal being. I could go crazy in this maze. I have been here for days but you would not be aware unless I told you. I don't know where Portnoy is. I don't know what The City is doing to him. I turn forever walking back to the start whenever I finish the course. I can't die and there's no way out.

There's always a way out for those who seek one. This body doesn't matter to me. It's merely a vessel to contain me. Why do I need to be contained? Why do I need a body? Time to get out. Time to defy expectations. I am thought. I am data. I am free.

Well damn

So I explained what I could to Portnoy on our way out of the mansion. I also found his blog and let him read it. However, once again I payed for my lack of attention. We walked out the front door and found ourselves in a tunnel as opposed to outside. I heard my laptop drop and turned to see Portnoy standing there. His eyes were wide and his mouth was open. It took me a few seconds to realize he was screaming. I grabbed his shoulders.

"Portnoy? Portnoy?!"

He stopped and his eyes turned to me. "I'm back... Why am I back?"

"I-"

"You brought me back here! You should have left me alone! I was fine. I was happier without my memories..."

"I'm sorry"

He started to run I chased him but a door appeared in the floor and I fell through it. I don't know where I am now... Actually I don't know what I'm typing in either. I left my laptop on the floor.

I don't even know how I know I'm typing this.


 (If you have gotten this far without reading Dawghouse I suggest you follow the link retroactively provided here and then follow the retroactive instructions on his blog)
(The Muffin Man)
(Although I do warn you about the first few posts.)
(If you came here from his blog just keep reading till more instructions are presented)

Conversation with a Mad Man

It took almost all day and night to find Portnoy. There is undoubtedly lots of messages sent to and from him but only a small portion is sent electronically. As such I had slightly less help than I had hoped to help me discover his actual location. Eventually I did find him. He was sitting alone in a room in a large mansion behind a desk. The mansion was filled with living beings but all seemed busy and so I was able to speak with Portnoy alone.

As I approached him he looked up at me from the letter he was currently writing. "Yes?" he asked impatiently.

"Hello, My name is Dr. Malice and-"

"An Oathbreaker? I'd suggest choosing a slightly less conspicuous name. The idea is not to alert your victims."

"N... No I'm not an Oathbreaker. I just- I'm not really a doctor I'm just a fake doctor- My real name is Maless Peyn. Dr. Malice is just my username."

"Maless Peyn? Did your parents hate you or were they just really high?"

"Well my mother did tend to giggle whenever she called me for supper- Wait a minute! There is nothing wrong with my name. Besides yours is no better."

"My name is Percy Aaron. I don't see what's wrong with it."

"Percy Aaron? No your name is Portnoy Augustus."

"That's a stupid sounding name. I'm sure I'd know if my name was that stupid."

At this point I was more than a little irritated and quite flustered but then I remembered a bit of info I'd forgotten.

"You really have forgotten everything haven't you?" He became guarded at this point.

"What do you know about it?"

"I knew your cousin Jayson."

"My cousin?"

"Yes your cousin."

"Why should I trust you?"

I thought about an answer and then had an idea. I pulled out my laptop and began searching at last I found it.

I turned the screen to him and let him see. He paled and I could tell it was working. Finally he spoke.

"Who is she? I feel like I know her..."

"I'll explain but it's not safe here. The Archangel and his servants won't be happy that I'm trying to restore your memories." As soon as I said this I felt the life forms entering the room and cursed myself for not paying more attention. I turned to focus on The Timberwolves glaring at me. My advantage they probably didn't know what I am. Not that that would help me much. I was attached to this body now. If it died I probably wouldn't die as well but it would probably be pretty debilitating. Unless...

I am just data currently attached to a human mind but I'm still just data. I concentrated and I could feel the data traveling through the air on wireless networks. I disconnected from the body and I flew becoming part of the wireless network. I passed into one of the Timberwolves from the air and immediately took control mapping myself to the brain. It was easier this time than it had been last time. The others didn't notice they were too busy examining the body now lying comatose on the floor. I took out his gun, aimed and fired. They were surprised and none of them were fast enough to react. Soon I had killed them. There had only been 6 so it wasn't that hard. Through it all Portnoy had been watching idly. He looked at me and I smiled. "Don't worry it's me Dr. Malice."

"You're a Dying Man?"

I blinked. I guess it was pretty similar except I didn't require physical contact.

"Not really. I'm not connected to The Dying Man at all actually. Again, I'll explain everything later. Now let's get out of here before more come." He was hesitant but eventually followed.

I guess I'm kind of an airborn Dying Man now. That's kind of cool.

Musing

Why do gods need worshipers? Discworld and a few other fictional and philosophical sources say it's because gods are created and powered by belief. That they are a symbiotic creature that requires humans to feed them belief and in return the humans get the benefit of divine protection and godly guidance. Let's assume this is mere fiction but gods are not. What other reason could there be? Do we go with the idea that there are some arbitrary laws restricting gods that requires them to use human agents? Do we decide that gods require humans as some form of menial work force? Or do we assume that gods just keep us around as a source of amusement? To laugh at our suffering and applaud our successes?


All are plausible but only the last implies a truly sadistic bend to our reason for existence.

Now why am I talking about Gods? Because Gods exist. What can be attributed to an evil or dark god that cannot be attributed to a fear. Immortality, knowledge and powers far beyond humanity, worshipers and, excluding the monotheistic gods which are mostly excluded from this comparison anyways, specific areas of control and expertise which sometimes overlap but often are separate from the areas of control of the other gods in their pantheon.

The Fears are gods. In fact one could probably trace them to many of the mythologies of the ancient world. So, about what we said earlier. Why do The Fears keep us around? The Game right? Well here's a theory. I'm not sure The Game exists. That probably sounds weird seeing as I was apparently part of the game but, that's part of the reason. Sure the rules could just be beyond our comprehension but they do seem to be kind of arbitrary. Ever changing. Well, I should be more accurate. The Game probably does exist. What I mean though is I doubt The Fears are truly bound by this Game. More likely it is some sort of self imposed system. Not something they really have to follow just something they choose to follow probably for their entertainment.

So, again I ask. Why do they keep us around? It's obviously they could destroy all of us on a whim if they wanted to. Now I'm not going to guess at their motivation. Maybe I'm entirely wrong. Maybe The Game really is some imposed rule the fears are forced to follow by some power far beyond our comprehension.

I just think it's important to wonder. Why are we still alive? Will we remain alive for much longer?

I'm almost at my destination now so I'll stop rambling.