Well damn

So I explained what I could to Portnoy on our way out of the mansion. I also found his blog and let him read it. However, once again I payed for my lack of attention. We walked out the front door and found ourselves in a tunnel as opposed to outside. I heard my laptop drop and turned to see Portnoy standing there. His eyes were wide and his mouth was open. It took me a few seconds to realize he was screaming. I grabbed his shoulders.

"Portnoy? Portnoy?!"

He stopped and his eyes turned to me. "I'm back... Why am I back?"

"I-"

"You brought me back here! You should have left me alone! I was fine. I was happier without my memories..."

"I'm sorry"

He started to run I chased him but a door appeared in the floor and I fell through it. I don't know where I am now... Actually I don't know what I'm typing in either. I left my laptop on the floor.

I don't even know how I know I'm typing this.


 (If you have gotten this far without reading Dawghouse I suggest you follow the link retroactively provided here and then follow the retroactive instructions on his blog)
(The Muffin Man)
(Although I do warn you about the first few posts.)
(If you came here from his blog just keep reading till more instructions are presented)

Conversation with a Mad Man

It took almost all day and night to find Portnoy. There is undoubtedly lots of messages sent to and from him but only a small portion is sent electronically. As such I had slightly less help than I had hoped to help me discover his actual location. Eventually I did find him. He was sitting alone in a room in a large mansion behind a desk. The mansion was filled with living beings but all seemed busy and so I was able to speak with Portnoy alone.

As I approached him he looked up at me from the letter he was currently writing. "Yes?" he asked impatiently.

"Hello, My name is Dr. Malice and-"

"An Oathbreaker? I'd suggest choosing a slightly less conspicuous name. The idea is not to alert your victims."

"N... No I'm not an Oathbreaker. I just- I'm not really a doctor I'm just a fake doctor- My real name is Maless Peyn. Dr. Malice is just my username."

"Maless Peyn? Did your parents hate you or were they just really high?"

"Well my mother did tend to giggle whenever she called me for supper- Wait a minute! There is nothing wrong with my name. Besides yours is no better."

"My name is Percy Aaron. I don't see what's wrong with it."

"Percy Aaron? No your name is Portnoy Augustus."

"That's a stupid sounding name. I'm sure I'd know if my name was that stupid."

At this point I was more than a little irritated and quite flustered but then I remembered a bit of info I'd forgotten.

"You really have forgotten everything haven't you?" He became guarded at this point.

"What do you know about it?"

"I knew your cousin Jayson."

"My cousin?"

"Yes your cousin."

"Why should I trust you?"

I thought about an answer and then had an idea. I pulled out my laptop and began searching at last I found it.

I turned the screen to him and let him see. He paled and I could tell it was working. Finally he spoke.

"Who is she? I feel like I know her..."

"I'll explain but it's not safe here. The Archangel and his servants won't be happy that I'm trying to restore your memories." As soon as I said this I felt the life forms entering the room and cursed myself for not paying more attention. I turned to focus on The Timberwolves glaring at me. My advantage they probably didn't know what I am. Not that that would help me much. I was attached to this body now. If it died I probably wouldn't die as well but it would probably be pretty debilitating. Unless...

I am just data currently attached to a human mind but I'm still just data. I concentrated and I could feel the data traveling through the air on wireless networks. I disconnected from the body and I flew becoming part of the wireless network. I passed into one of the Timberwolves from the air and immediately took control mapping myself to the brain. It was easier this time than it had been last time. The others didn't notice they were too busy examining the body now lying comatose on the floor. I took out his gun, aimed and fired. They were surprised and none of them were fast enough to react. Soon I had killed them. There had only been 6 so it wasn't that hard. Through it all Portnoy had been watching idly. He looked at me and I smiled. "Don't worry it's me Dr. Malice."

"You're a Dying Man?"

I blinked. I guess it was pretty similar except I didn't require physical contact.

"Not really. I'm not connected to The Dying Man at all actually. Again, I'll explain everything later. Now let's get out of here before more come." He was hesitant but eventually followed.

I guess I'm kind of an airborn Dying Man now. That's kind of cool.

Musing

Why do gods need worshipers? Discworld and a few other fictional and philosophical sources say it's because gods are created and powered by belief. That they are a symbiotic creature that requires humans to feed them belief and in return the humans get the benefit of divine protection and godly guidance. Let's assume this is mere fiction but gods are not. What other reason could there be? Do we go with the idea that there are some arbitrary laws restricting gods that requires them to use human agents? Do we decide that gods require humans as some form of menial work force? Or do we assume that gods just keep us around as a source of amusement? To laugh at our suffering and applaud our successes?


All are plausible but only the last implies a truly sadistic bend to our reason for existence.

Now why am I talking about Gods? Because Gods exist. What can be attributed to an evil or dark god that cannot be attributed to a fear. Immortality, knowledge and powers far beyond humanity, worshipers and, excluding the monotheistic gods which are mostly excluded from this comparison anyways, specific areas of control and expertise which sometimes overlap but often are separate from the areas of control of the other gods in their pantheon.

The Fears are gods. In fact one could probably trace them to many of the mythologies of the ancient world. So, about what we said earlier. Why do The Fears keep us around? The Game right? Well here's a theory. I'm not sure The Game exists. That probably sounds weird seeing as I was apparently part of the game but, that's part of the reason. Sure the rules could just be beyond our comprehension but they do seem to be kind of arbitrary. Ever changing. Well, I should be more accurate. The Game probably does exist. What I mean though is I doubt The Fears are truly bound by this Game. More likely it is some sort of self imposed system. Not something they really have to follow just something they choose to follow probably for their entertainment.

So, again I ask. Why do they keep us around? It's obviously they could destroy all of us on a whim if they wanted to. Now I'm not going to guess at their motivation. Maybe I'm entirely wrong. Maybe The Game really is some imposed rule the fears are forced to follow by some power far beyond our comprehension.

I just think it's important to wonder. Why are we still alive? Will we remain alive for much longer?

I'm almost at my destination now so I'll stop rambling.

I talked to an old "friend" today

One interesting part of being a thoughtborn is the knowledge. All the information the internet has to offer is streamed into my consciousness. Well it was when I was in the internet anyways. Not anymore but I still retain all the information I learned. Like the location of an infected water source nearby. I don't know why I assumed EAT would be willing to talk. I mean we weren't really friends we had just served on the same side during the game. Also I had gotten quite a few of her killed.

Regardless she was actually rather willing to talk. The infected source was an indoor pool in an apartment complex. Not sure how this managed to escape notice for so long. I don't really know but I assume that everyone in the complex is a camper. I don't know I didn't see anyone on my way to the pool. No one tried to stop me from getting in either. There was only one person at the pool either. A woman was lying in a sundeck unmoving. She was wearing a black bikini and was just staring at the pool with glazed unseeing eyes. I assumed at first she was an early stage camper until she turned to me and spoke. "Mr. Peyn? I took a whole seven seconds to recognize you. That's mildly impressive. It's most likely the hair colour change that threw me off. Most people tend to stay with the same hair colour when they choose to change bodies," she said as she greeted me with a smile far too natural to be real.

"Well I made the mistake of not checking the body before taking it if I had I probably would have been more carefu- Wait how DID you recognize me, exactly? I'm an entirely different person!" I argued.

"No you are a different body you are the same person. You may have a bit more swagger in your step than normal, The wider hips and added frontal weight throwing you off slightly, but otherwise your gait is exactly the same. As well the analytical way you look at things and the way your face and hands move based on your emotions are all things that are unique to you," She said and this time the smile was less natural and almost looked real. The sparkling eyes however were a little overblown.

"You are obviously not surprised that I'm still alive and that I'm in a different body so I'm assuming you knew before hand what was going to happen?"

"I am not prescient, Ms. Peyn. I am merely well connected and well learned. I became aware of the events surrounding you  as they occurred no sooner, no later."

"Well then do you know why I'm here?"

"No, do you?"

I had no reply to that. I really didn't. I guess I was just bored and wanted to talk to someone but I must have had a better choice of conversational partners than a horrid abomination from the depths. My inability to answer must have shown because she continued.

"If a question has no answer it shouldn't be asked. Only false knowledge is gained from unanswerable questions. I don't deal with conjecture and guesses. Only facts. The True knowledge. Speaking of knowledge would you like a little bit of wisdom?"

I perked up at this point and so she continued without waiting for a verbal response. "You're little friend Jayson had a cousin who has recently, well, recently for me about 152 days ago in your time which may still be considered recent based on your perspective, become involved with the fears. In fact he is rather deeply involved. You would already know this but you didn't know where to look. Jayson's last name isn't online anywhere and so you were incapable of knowing about his relatives. As such I'll give you an extra bit of my wisdom. Jayson's last name is Augustus," she paused at this point to let me scour my knowledge and then smiled and this time the smile was real. It was a predatory smile. "I'm sure you have some things to do. Come back and we'll talk more if you ever have the time."

I fled the complex and ran all the way back to my body's home. I had to shut down the nerves to continue running but I made it as fast as possible which was the important part. I grabbed the laptop and did a little "Hacking" to get myself a train ticket. I can redeem myself. I failed to save Jayson and I killed Marcinius but I can save Portnoy.

Freedom is an illusion.

I've been sitting at my computer all day watching funny youtube videos...

I am so bored.

So no weird thoughts lately... Er weirder. I guess that means The Newborn doesn't have access to me anymore. That's good. So now then what do I do. I suppose the answer is carry on with life... Um how. I'm not the same person and besides the game destroyed every shred of my life last time. I could try and hunt down the choir but having a body now also means I'm vulnerable to them now. I really did not think any of this through.

Step 1

Do... Something. I have a body now... I can go back to my normal life... Assuming The Newborn doesn't still have a connection to me that is... What if he was responsible for me deciding to randomly take over this woman's body? Oh... That's a disturbing thought.

You know what forget all this for a little while. I have a body now. I am going to go eat food and drink, er... drinks and possibly touch myself inappropriately but only possibly. It might be a bit awkward what with this not only not being my normal body but being um a different gender. Although that could potentially just make it... Why am I saying all of this?!

... I'm going to go for now. Figure out stuff later.